just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
