I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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