do herpes really smell.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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