Michael Bay diarrhea
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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