How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
