Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
