Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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