I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
