I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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