Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I love black thongs
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
