Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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