just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
