So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
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Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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