She's JV to your varsity
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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