She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
