she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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