yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
