I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize