She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
just found out that she named her cat after me.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Randomize
