There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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