so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
one might say we're banned from that church
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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