She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
