so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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