i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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