HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
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becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
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Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize