I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
zippers are such a cool invention
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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