FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
this is an emotional support booty call
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
