One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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