Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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