Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
