They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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