You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
my vag is so smooth its legendary
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
