the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
