I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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