White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize