What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
