My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
My vagina just recognized that song.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
