Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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