if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
