That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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