He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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