Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
