i can't believe i had my finger in that
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize