her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
