Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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