Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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