Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
