i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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