I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
