sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
operation have a gay friend backfired
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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