It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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