Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
