so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
