no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
