the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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