I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's shark week go big or go home
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
