Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize