We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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