So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
