she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize