If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
