I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
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Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
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The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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