Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
