FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
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My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
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At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
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