Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
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He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize